While staring at my bloody teeth in my dentist’s hands the other day I had a realization about health. I asked if it was safe to drink like an adult, or if I should hold off because they just removed my top two wisdom teeth. Does alcohol do anything bad to empty teeth sockets? No worries, my dentist reassured me that he approved of me “having fun.”
And it made me think about how unimpressed I am with toothpaste commercials stating: “4/5 dentists recommend X!” Yeah? Well my dentist recommends I drink a Hot Toddy over activities that could upset the holes in my mouth (giggity) including drinking through a straw, swishing, and spitting. So the real question is: Under what circumstances do dentists approve of your product, Mr. Toothpaste SmartyPants? When you show them your toothpaste, do they shrug and say, “It’s okay I guess” and you go wild with claims like: “Dentist recommended!” on your toothpaste tube?
P.S.
Delicious ingredients include Metaxa Brandy, Hot water, Cinnamon sticks, Honey and Lemon, and Love.
P.P.S.
At the hippy grocery store near my apartment I learned to stay away from chocolate bars that promise to include “toffee and gratitude” in their active ingredients. They usually only have half the toffee as normal chocolate bars who are secure and don’t feel the need to express their “gratitude” toward you.
Screw you too, chocolate!
P.P.P.S.
Yes, I did buy a “thank you” chocolate bar for myself. Don’t judge – the wrapper was colorful and pretty. :-)
