I had a “life experience” when I was 19 that I’ll never forget.

I was at some kind of hippy event where the speaker told us to hug the person next to us.

“It will be fun!” they said. “It will be safe!” they said.

While hugging the guy next to me he decided kiss me on the cheek and said – in what he meant to be a seductive tone – that I reminded him of a “bratty little sister.”

My mind started racing: “Huh? You want to bang your sister? I feel sorry for me, but I feel worse for your sister! Does she know? Do your parents know? What’s Christmas like for your family?”

While relaying this story the other day, I became informed that one way to “neg” a woman you like is to tell her she reminds you of a “bratty little sister.” Therefore, since this guy knew a “negging” technique, this meant he was studying how to be a PUA (Pick Up Artist).

Confused? So was I. Let me explain…

There are women who read Cosmo, despite the fact that they’ve had a year subscription where each issue promises something not-clever like “87 ways to blow his brain… and his cock!” In actuality, you open up the magazine and find advice like…

In the same way women have Cosmo, men have PUA so they can learn 87 ways to make bad decisions.

If you study PUA you’ll learn a technique called “negging,” which is insulting a chick so she feels insecure in hopes that her wild insecurity will drive her to take off off her pants in order to impress you. One form of “negging” is to tell a woman she reminds you of a “bratty little sister.” She’ll feel bad about being in the ‘sister category,’ and supposedly will feel driven to put herself in the ‘sexy category.’

Aha!

Mr. Enumclaw

This whole time I thought this dude wanted to bang his sister! Maybe it’s because I grew up in a small town located near the Enumclaw Horse-Fucker (One might say he should’ve stopped “horsing around”… Ha Ha Ha).

It didn’t even register that this was a pick-up line. And for some reason, knowing that it was just a line feels comforting. I would never want anyone (no, not even my husband) to look at me like the EHF on the left looked at that horse…

Granted, from what I know about PUA, I agree with the deeper purpose behind it. It seems like PUA is actually about developing social skills, and getting closer to actually being that person women want to be around. I’m totally on board with that intention. I’m also on board behind Cosmo’s mission statement, which talks about inspiring “millions of fun, fearless females who want to be the best they can be in every area of their lives.” I would just humbly suggest that, if possible, we lay off the incest and glazed donut props while expressing affection.

P.S. For your very own PUA shirt check out my store on Zazzle. As of today I have a total of 1 things for sale.